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	Thursday 178th march  St Paddiws noght wOT A FUCKIKG NIGHT i AMWRITING THIS PISSED AS A FART SOSO FUVK IF YOU CANT UNDERSTABD WOT i HAVE WRITTEN. Friday to Sunday 4/6th March  Northern adventure One of our rare trips up North Saturday 27th March  Punk Aid 2004    Ya it took me three hours to reach Hemsley too but then it took me five and a half hours to get to Brixam last year and by the way Morcambe  took five Hours  and the year before I didn't make it at all cos of the Manchester ship canal, it's all relative really. What a great weekend I arrived on Friday night in time for some Guinness ,  to watch The Beat and catch up with some old friends. Bed happened about 6 am so using an old  tried and tested measurement i.e. being deaf, knackered and pissed it was a obviously great night. Saturday : Missed breakfast so had something light (a nice pint of Guinness) as if you couldn't guess. I then went and watched the Anoraks who did a great set, Bevs' got a right nice feel for reggae. The rest of the day was spent talking to various people and selling merchandise. I don't know at what point of the day that Yoko (Mrs Harper) gave me a bottle of Yagermister but I stayed with the black stuff as I didn't want to be pissed for  the show later on that night. We went to the chalet for a quick run through of the set and a new song which Oddy had not sung before. There was some unusual harmonies thanks to Guinness. So on to the gig, what can I say, (not much I will leave that to you guys) we all really enjoyed it. Thanks to Andy we went on on time so  got to play a proper set (unlike last year when we were cut short cos the Kennedy's  had so much gear to set up.) Every one I spoke to said they thought it was a great show. ( If anyone want to write something, I will post it on the web, just sent it to the Menace e-mail address). On to the drinking and the interview with Rebecca who not only gets the prize for best dancer but deserves an award for the best face of the festival (If I only had a camera.) By the time the interview had finished I'd  finished half the Yager and was staring to feel the effects of drinking it so fast, fuck it I thought,  what's the worst that can happen as I proceeded to finish it off on my way back to the Harpers. I got worse, next thing I know I was on stage singing backing vocals with Chelsea and sucking Tony Barbers jacked to get back the Jager I had spilt on him (or so I am told.) All this happened in the space of an hour so all my brain could now comprehend was where the fuck can I get more drink at this time of night. Then a revelation, the voice of a angel came to me and said "You daft git the bar is open all night" Sunday morning a  bit worse for wear had to get home.                Wednesday 17th March  The Prince Regent London : St Patrick's Day saw me playing with John and Andrew Menaces' Ex vocalist and guitarist in an Irish band called the egits. My long suffering misses, who I used to pogo with down the Roxy in 76 so knows what I am like if I get let out alone on Paddies night came with me to protect the general public from a drunken Paddy.  I promised I wouldn't get too drunk as I had work early in the morning but some bastard spiked my whiskey with whiskey so I got as bad as Darren on an extensive tour of the Smirnoff factory. I was told it was a good night there are  pictures any everything. Sunday 6th March  Rogue Studio London : This one was for the recording of our new album which should be out in July.  We asked a small gang of lads and lassies to help us with the backing vocals. Everybody was packed into a tiny room which was about the size of an average bathroom.                                     There was Hugh Hugh Barney Mc Grew Cuffbert no no that was Trumpton. There was Sam L,Dougy, Caroline, Sue, Virgil,Sean, Liam,Ozzy,Mark, Frank ,Jacob Luke ,Wayne ,Kristen ,Gonk ,Mrs Awful, Ian, Skinhead Andy, John Lacey ,and Davey boy. Every body was in fine singing voice and the results will be great Fanx to all of them Sunday 29th Feb 2004   The Dublin Castle London : Well back in the capital again. The gig tonight was for the launch of our new live album Alive Alive O! The evening kicked off with a great set from Holy Racket a three piece from up north and was swiftly followed by a brill set from a bunch of short nutters called The Pork Dukes. I can't comment on whether we were good or not (that's up to you lot) what I will say is the sound was good, the audience was great and we really enjoyed ourselves.   Friday 27th Feb 2004   The North Bar Blackburn : Wot a gig.  We played to pretty much a full house of crazed northerners and a single Londoner who travelled all the way for this gig. (makes a change it's usually Geoff and Angie who travel down).  To sum it all up Great people, great Punk rock ,great venue, great Guinness, great fucking night we will be back.   Saturday 1st Nov 2003  The Showcase Theatre :  To Follow Friday 31st Oct 2003      Alex's Bar  Long Beach : This was a strange gig from the start. The first person we bumped into was Alex (not the owner) but our mate ex of Lal's tattoo parlour  London who was dressed up as super punk, mask, cape, muscles and all. Halloween is a very serious business in he USA. There was a point where I was talking to a horse in a pink tu tu  about the offside rule. Things didn't get any better after a skin full. After the show, (wot no kebab) only my first taste of Mexican food refried beans and some other stuff I couldn't pronounce let alone spell. It was fuc..It was fuc..It was orrible   Saturday 11th Oct  2003   Het Bolwerk Sneek  NL: England are back!  In the small Dutch town of Sneek England's Pissed 5 menaced Ireland's (Blood or) Whiskied 5 off the pitch. Illuminated by hotel security lamps this 3am kick off saw 10 worse for wear hero's stagger and sway their way through a 7 goal thriller.  Menace front man Oddy scored all 5 of England's goals with Noel Martin's brace in reply for the Irish.  Due to a lack of capable Englishmen (Swainey failed the breathalyser, line test and constant slapping about the face) Irishman Charlie Casey guested for England.  He was soon fired up though when he heard Blood or Whiskies Dublin accents after Bob Geldof's slagging of Menace earlier (1978) and was eager for revenge. England goalie, Grenville, made comments about feeling stiff and wanting to be pulled off at half time (what 's he like?)  But he managed to go the distance.  One Dutch member of the crowd ran onto the pitch chanting "can't you keep the noise down I'm trying to sleep" and was sportingly told to fuck off. The Irish, in a tired and emotional statement after the match, said that the game was not properly completed and insisted that they would be reporting the English team to FIFA, UEFA and possibly even the Musicians Union.   Friday 10th Oct 2003   Hope & Anchor  London : The gig was sold out by about 8.30 so loads of Menace fans were unable to get in. The night was sweaty, drunken, fast and furious as are many of our gigs. This one was special as it was my birthday an I didn't have to drive and the Hope is after all the birthplace of our merry band so we had a  double excuse to get knackered. The competition to guess my age was not won by anyone. The closest guess was by myself cos I thought I was 48 when in actual fact I am 49 (I'm slowly catching up to Mr Harper). Tell me how can anyone get there own age wrong.